what i want you to know. part 3

I don't adjust that easy on people. 

For real, i notice that anytime i have to meet new people i get

super nervous. I don't know, but it takes me from 1 month to 

like 3 months to adjust to people i work with. I know i'm weird but 

really.  I also hate  touch people or to be touched by unknown people .

Quote for today: 

Thank you for being nice, but  i don't even know you,

so, please don't touch me, unlesss it's necessary. 

what i want you to know. part 2

What i've learn about my disease and how to live with it. 

What i've learned about my mental disease, is that some days i would
focus very easily, some days i would focus not so easily and some days i would try my
best to focus on things but i just wouldn't like i normaly do.  Some days i would be angry on myself
and even judge myself why the hell i can't focus on that day. Sometimes i wish i could live just for
one day without my mental problems and focus like normal people do, you know. I've also learned
what makes me overwhelmed and what could put my concentration on the test:

1. when people tell me what to do and then someone says i need to do the same thing 
completely differently and then the third person come up and says: no, that's wrong.

2. when people think i made fun of them when i ask how to do one thing that i already know.

3. when people tell me what to do, and i do one thing and then a ton of stuff came between.

4. when i have to do things fast, but i don't know where certain things belong.

quote of the day:

I do want to explain people what's wrong with me, but i'm sort of 
afraid to do it because they would think i lie. 

what i want you to know. part 1

 I'm different. 

When i was a teen, i'm gonna admit i've had a hard time. Not that i was a ''badass'' or ''party anmial'' but i had to deal with things that i honestly don't think teenagers even should. But life isn't always about beautiful things. It's also about pain and loss as well.  When i left school nearly 2 years ago, i was judged from the moon and back why i decided that way. But what no one else didn't understeand or noticed was one thing: how lonely i actually felt like at the time. But leaving high school wasn't just the only thing. That year, like 3 months after i left school, i lost someone who meant at lot to me and still does. Well, i didn't handled that very well.  And the same year way before i lost my loved one and walked away from education i also walked away  from friendship of endless taking advanages and using my kindness. Well, one thing is: i have ADHD. Since i was like 5. I was replaced from normal elementary school to elementary school for children with learning issues.
After that i also finished lower vocational education for kitchen assistant to your surprise, very successfully.

so quote for today could be:

If i have a mental disease, that doesn't mean i can't do something of myself.